


Three-Sided Gem

by kafuka



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: F/F, Femslash Yuletide 2014, Multi, OT3, Yuletide, Yuletide 2014, not actually a love triangle
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-17
Updated: 2014-12-17
Packaged: 2018-03-01 21:35:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2788541
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kafuka/pseuds/kafuka
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Garnet and Pearl start a relationship, they want to keep things as close to earth customs as possible, which means making Amethyst their third wheel. For Yuletide 2014.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Three-Sided Gem

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ViolentFlowers](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ViolentFlowers/gifts).



> Yultide 2014 fill for ViolentFlowers! I hope you like! <3

It was a Saturday morning in early fall in Beach City. Tourists had already come and gone, but it was still hot enough that the locals were either in one of two places: at the beach, lolling around in the cool water, or at home, reveling in the modern comforts of air conditioning and wifi. Steven and Amethyst had headed to the beach immediately after breakfast, Steven in red board shorts, and Amethyst transfigured into a purple surfboard. 

Garnet sat the kitchen table, leafing through the morning paper and attempting to drink coffee. She wasn’t sure why. She didn’t like coffee. Gems didn’t need food or drink to survive. Pearl had simply come out of her room that morning, helped Steven prepare himself breakfast, and continued bustling around the kitchen after he and Amethyst left. She had hummed to herself, using the blunt end of her miniaturized staff to grind the beans and then some glass and a plastic appliance to turn the grounds into liquid. 

She’d set the cup in front of Garnet and said. “This if coffee. Adult humans drink it to help keep themselves awake during the day. I don’t find it particularly… pleasant, but I thought since we’re working on making some of our other rituals closer to this planet’s customs, then it wouldn’t be terrible to try some of the more mundane ones, as well.”

Garnet said nothing, but picked up the mug of coffee, put it to her lips, sipped it, and put it back down.

“Mm,” she said.

Pearl giggled a little girlishly, clearly pleased by Garnet’s reaction. “Let me know if you want more, or if there’s any emergencies. Until then, I’m going back to my research.” 

She leaned down and kissed Garnet on the cheek, and then turned abruptly and went back into her room.

That had been at least two hours ago. Garnet had nursed the coffee, but every time she took a sip she had visions of sludge monsters spewing their miasma all over the city. There was only a small layer of cold, brown liquid covering the bottom when Pearl returned.

“According to my research,” Pearl said, pulling a thick, manila folder from under her arm and pushing it across the table to Garnet, “there needs to be some kind of rival in our relationship. The rival, or “third wheel” as it’s sometimes referred to, is an antagonistic force that consistently interferes with a couple, either trying to break them apart, or at least cause “trouble in paradise.” That’s another one of their terms.” She chuckled a bit at the silly phrase. Garnet’s face remained, as always, blank. 

“All the different kinds of earth media agree on this point: books, television, movies, and video games all feature it at length, no matter it’s relevance to the plot.” She reached across the table and flipped open the folder Garnet hadn’t touched, and began leafing through the papers within. “Magazines - especially those geared toward the female population - have written hundreds of articles about it. There so many references to “the other women” or “the skanky friend” who are always trying to break the couple apart, usually to domineer the man. I don’t really understand this, as the male to female ratio throughout the planet seems to favor women, so you think they could have their pick, but that’s what the research is for, right?” She looked up from the flurry of sticky notes and printed magazine articles to smile at Garnet.

Garnet made a noise that sounding something like “Mn.”

“Well, I guess that doesn’t matter much in our relationship, considering we both appear female to humans. Which I believe may bring up other issues, but for now I think we should focus on finding someone to be the antagonist for us. Do you have any ideas? I considered asking Steven, but he’s not a very antagonistic person. In fact, he’s been so delighted by us becoming a couple, asking him to act negatively in regards to us might give him psychological issues down the line. Don’t you agree?”

Garnet said nothing. She didn’t even move.

“Right! So, then I was thinking we could ask Greg, since he is… Well, you know my feelings on Greg. But then I realized we may have to divulge certain... _aspects_ of our relationship to him that I’m not sure--”

“No.” Garnet said.

Pearl breathed an obvious sigh of relief, “Oh, thank goodness! I didn’t think he was an ideal candidate either, but--”

“Pearl,” Garnet said, again stop her mid-ramble. “The less we talk about Greg in regards to… us, the better.”

Pearl flushed. “Yes, you’re right. Absolutely right. I won’t bring him up again. ...So, that really only leaves one candidate, and while I feel they are the most obvious, I really didn’t want to ask them to be our antagonist since they are… well, just so… antagonistic! In general! And I’m not sure I would be able to take their current antagonism combined with any antagonism directed toward our relationship! I feel it would be too stressful, for not just me, but for us both, and put too much of a strain on this whole thing, and--”

“But isn’t that the point?” Garnet said. She reached out with her pointer finger and drew the mess of tabbed articles and print-outs towards her. But she did so slowly, as if she still didn’t really want it that close. “The antagonist provides the… antagonism.”

“Well, yes, but… I feel like there would be… Their antagonistic approach is already…” Pearl flailed for words.

“Amethyst is really the most antagonistic person we know.”

Pearl flushed. “I never said it was Amethyst!”

Garnet said nothing.

“Th-this is silly!” Pearl leapt up and began gathering her articles and print-outs and shoving them back into the already overpacked folder. “I-I-I don’t think this is a good idea to begin with. I know we said we’d stick to human relationship customs while here on earth and raise Steven as normally as we can, but this part seems ridiculous. Forget I said anything, please!” 

She pulled the folder to her chest and turned to leave, her face much pinker than usual.

Garnet didn’t move a muscle. 

Pearl stomped back to her room and slammed the door closed.

Garnet sat at the table.

Muffled noises of frustration and maybe kicking came from Pearl’s room.

Garnet sat.

Slightly calmer noises of frustration and less kicking came from Pearl’s room.

Garnet reached for her coffee.

Pearl’s door slammed back open.

Garnet stopped in mid-reach.

“Okay, it has to be Amethyst!” She yelled, tromping down the stairs, pulling out a chair, which gave an angry squeal, and sat down hard. “She’s clearly the most antagonistic of all of us! She gets under my skin all the time, and she already commenced teasing as soon as she found out we had entered a relationship. She’s the clear choice here, but her _knowing_ she’s necessary for making trouble in our relationship is only going to make her that much more intent on causing it! It will be a nightmare! We’ll never know when or where she’ll strike!”

Garnet finally picked up her coffee mug and looked at the brown liquid on the bottom. It had mostly evaporated. 

“We’re ho~ome!” A voice rang out, followed by the front door slamming, and then the sound of furious shaking, not unlike a dog trying to whip water from it’s back.

“Amethyst! Cut it out!” Steven said, laughing and covering his face to keep from getting splashed by her still wet hair.

Pearl’s mouth flattened into a straight line and she looked at Garnet. Garnet shrugged and then nodded toward Steven.

“Oh, right,” Pearl said, standing up. “Steven, did you and Amethyst have a good time at the beach?”

“Yeah!” Steven yelled. “Amethyst’s the best surfboard ever! We shredded some monster waves! Right, Amethyst?”

“That’s right, brah!” Amethyst said, shaking her hands in the “hang ten” motion.

Pearl nodded furiously and smile a little too widely. “That’s wonderful, Steven. I’m glad you and Amethyst had such a great time sledding, or whatever it was you said. Oh, I have an idea! Why don’t you run down to Fish Stew Pizza and get us something for lunch? I’ll bet you’re hungry after all that, uh, surfering, right?”

“Pizza?!” Steven’s eyes sparkled. “Sure thing, Pearl! One Fish Stew Pizza coming right up!” He turned on his heel and ran off.

“Wow, Pearl, you didn’t even make him go shower or anything first. You must be losing your touch!” Amethyst grinned widely and started walking to her bedroom door. “Call me when Steven gets back with the pizza, okay?”

“Wait a minute, Amethyst. I sent Steven off for a reason. Garnet and I want to have a talk with you.”

“Uh-oh,” Amethyst froze mid-step and looked over her shoulder. “What did I do? I was just kidding about the “losing your touch” thing, I swear!”

“That’s not it, Amethyst.” Garnet said, pulling out the chair next to her. “It’s about my and Pearl’s relationship, and how you fit into it.”

Amethyst tilted her head to the side. “Uh?”

“Just sit.”

Amethyst sat. 

“As you know, I have been doing a lot of research on earth “dating” customs since Garnet and I entered a relationship.” Pearl began. “And according to much of earth’s media, every relationship needs a third person to act as the couple’s antagonist. Garnet and I have decided that person should be you.”

Amethyst blinked. “Okay. And what does that mean I have to do exactly?”

“Antagonize us.” Garnet said.  
“Don’t I… already do that?” Amethyst asked.

“You do,” said Pearl, “but in this case you need to antagonize us specifically about our relationship.”

“So does this mean I’m like, a part of the relationship? Like, what does that make _me_?” Amethyst asked, slinging her arm around the back of the chair and kicking her foot up onto the table. 

Pearl and Garnet looked at one another. Garnet shrugged. Pearl coughed.

“Well, that’s… that’s a very good question! This person if usually referred to as an antagonist, or a “rival,” because sometimes they’re vying for the affections of one half of the couple. Occasionally this might entail that you… try to become physical with us, or, uh, insisting we are attracted to you, that you are better for one of us than the other person in the relationship is.” Pearl’s face was slowly inching back towards red.

Amethyst laughed, “Oh yeah? And which one of you am I supposed to be after, huh?”

“Th-that’s up to you!” Pearl stammered.

Garnet sighed. “It should be Pearl, since you’re always bothering her anyway.”

“Muh-me?!” Pearl yelped, jumping up from her seat. “Just because Amethyst and I don’t usually get along doesn’t mean she should be trying to engage me in a… a...” Pearl reached across the table, grabbed the folder from Garnet, and began flipping through it madly. “...Oh,” she said, sitting down heavily. “Apparently, that is quite… common. ...For the rival to be pursuing the half of the couple that finds them… annoying.” She bit her lip and looked at the other two. Garnet was impassive as always, and Amethyst was grinning from ear to ear.

“Well, that settles it, then! I’ll be chasing Pearl around trying to kiss her if you need anything, Garnet.” Amethyst jumped from her seat and pulled her whip from her gem. “C’mere, Pearl!” She puckered her lips and dashed towards Pearl who pulled out her spear and began fleeing.

“No! This is not how it’s supposed to work!” Pearl cried, running for the entrance to her room. Amethyst snapped her whip and it wrapped around Pearl’s ankle, tripping her.

As the commotion in the background continued, Garnet pulled Pearl’s annotated folder back to her side of the table and opened it. She turned the pages slowly, skimming the accounts of “third wheels” and “rivals” and “other women.” As she flipped and tried to ignore the battle going on around her, she realized something.

“This... is dumb.”

A loud crash answered her and she looked up to find Pearl keeping Amethyst at bay by dangling her off the edge of her spear and holding her up in the air. Amethyst was struggling her turn herself around and grab the spear’s shaft, and she’d knocked the ceiling fan down trying. “What is?” Pearl asked.

“This whole thing is dumb.” Garnet said, turning another page. “Why have two people in a relationship and a third trying to sabotage it when those three people could just be in a relationship together?”

“But…” Pearl said, leaving her spear to hang mid-air with Amethyst dangling on the end. She crossed to Garnet and put a hand on her shoulder. “This how they do relationships on earth. We want everything to be as normal as possible for Steven.”

“Steven’s a gem, too.” Amethyst said from somewhere near the ceiling. “He’s used to things being weird.”

“Maybe, but…” Pearl started.

“All I’m saying is, maybe forcing this situation won’t help. If Amethyst wants to become my rival and vye for your affections, Pearl, that’s fine.” Garnet said. “But we shouldn’t force ourselves to do things just because they’re “normal” on earth.”

“She’s got a point,” Amethyst said.

Pearl sighed and put her spear away, letting Amethyst drop to the floor. “Okay. That does make a lot of sense, even if it isn’t a common earth custom.” She squeezed Garnets shoulder, and Garnet gave her the smallest hint of a smile and put her hand over Pearl’s. They gazed at each other for a second before Amethyst broke in.

“That still leaves me out of it, though! Do I get to be a part of your relationship or not?” She asked, dusting herself off from her fall. 

Pearl blinked and looked at her. “Do you want to be?”

“Sure, why not?” Amethyst asked, putting her hands on her hips. “Or I could just chase you around some more and try to make you kiss me again.”

Pearl crossed her eyes in mock disgust. “Very well. Just ask next time if you want to kiss me.”

“Sure thing!” Amethyst said, charged up to Pearl, grabbed her shoulders, and planted a slobbery kiss square on her lips. Pearl made a screeching sound in the back of her throat and pushed Amethyst off. 

“Amethyst, I--”

“Oh my gosh, you guys! Are you all kissing now?!” 

Pearl stopped mid-sentence and all three gems turned and looked toward the doorway. Steven stood there holding a pizza box. His eyes were sparkling. 

“Um, yes, Steven. We’ve decided to all be in a relationship.” Pearl said, straightened herself and willing her cheeks to return to their normal pink color. “Are you okay with that?”

“Am I okay with that?!” Steven yelped, bounding up to them. “I’m completely okay with that! I’m so glad you all really like each other so much!” He tossed the pizza on the table and hugged each gem one by one. “You love each other like my mom and dad do! That’s so great! We should celebrate! I’m gonna go get donuts for dessert!” He turned and scampered out the door again.

They all watched him leave and were silent for a minute.

“Like… Rose and… _Greg_?” Pearl asked.

Amethyst snorted loudly.

“Ew.” Garnet said.


End file.
